tribute to the writings of Christopher Poindexter. Part II

It is not so strange that what is real and necessary should frighten us so. Especially this, this most necessary of things that allows no dishonesty, no deception…that throws us naked into a complete trusting of ourselves and another…while the whole world, our bad experiences and statistics shout that it can not be…that we do not deserve such beauty, joy or peace…that we are broken and sick, and must resign ourselves to the fact that all we can hope to find are shatterings of ourselves.

“You want me to be completely honest?
I, always, have been terrified
of love. To slow dance with bliss
and the prevailing chance of complete
misery. Knowing that, it will either
save me or it will cripple me.
For if there is one thing beautiful
in this crumbling world: It is love.
The curling of souls.
But god, if there is one thing
horrific in it, too,
then it is mostly surely loving
something with your entirety
only to have it all vanish
away within the hit
of a second.”


Love Story-”Necessary and Beautiful.”

  • A tribute to the writings of Christopher Poindexter.

I am quite certain there is only one. The same one in all the lives and movies and books and letters. The same one that fits the experience of all human beings who stood with their own profound loneliness, allowed themselves to experience the fullness of their own terrible fears, and crossed beyond all that…because of all that…to embrace true love.

We don’t all arrive in this world in a cradle of connection and peace. I’m not sure anyone does. What I know for sure is that we all struggle in our own ways…with demons real and imagined, with brokenness, with restlessness and impatience, with questions for which often there are no answers except the asking of more questions and the finding of that delicate balance between the mystery and the certainty we need in order to live in the world.

So then, how does one find words to describe that beautiful and necessary love story which is the only thing that can enable us to, once again, become what we are in essence………which is Love.

Often, we find that description in the gift of another’s words…words that mirror our own voice and experience. I found such words just the other day in the quotes and poems by Christopher Poindexter. We can switch names, swap “he” for “she”, blue eyes for brown or green, the sea for meadows or mountains. It makes no difference. In the end, it’s the same story.

And it begins with discomfort, loneliness and fear, the fundamental struggle…

“I am filled with things and I battle feelings
I have never wanted to exist inside of me.
I lack too much confidence and I carry too
much sadness and my body is full of stars
that never learned their name. I wear my
insecurities like pockets and I fill them
with my fears and my hands are growing tired
from reaching down into them to hold the
feeling of being afraid. I am afraid. Always
afraid. Afraid like chimes when the winds lips
are sealed. Afraid like your eyes when the stars
fall asleep in the black. Afraid like dreams
when they realize they are just dreams and that
reality is that one scar that will never
fade away.


Broken Promise.

You told me you loved me

I told you i loved you too

You said together we would always be

I said i would be true

You promised you would hold me

And you promised you would be there

I promised i would cross the stormy sea

To give you my love and care

But you never kept the promise

It isn’t the way you used to be

You just gave upon us

And you just gave upon me

You said let’s take a break and

You said let’s just be friends

But please for my sake

Just tell the truth, coz this is end.

You promised every moment

That you would be there

Here is the moment

You tell me where are you

You promised to me

that we would have our love

You promised to me that

I would be you’ll always think of

But you are now walking away

saying ‘lets just be friends’

That is the way you made my heart break

Your way of saying ‘this is the end’

Then why did you make a promise you couldn’t keep

Then why did you make a promise you wouldn’t live upto

Then why did you make a promise that was so fake

Then why did make a promise which cuts my soul


The feeling of nothingness at heart .

Mom to me ”you look soo shaken, What happened to you, Are you fine ? ”All that came out of of me was a nodd ‘yeah’ ‘I am fine’. Little did she know dat I was breathing but merely half alive. I sat there for a while not even remembering what happened moments ago.
I am in my room resting on a couch. Tons of thoughts are gushing my mind. I juss cant believe what the hell just happened .
‘One moment someone means a universe to you and the other moment they are gone’ this is what happened to me. She was the whole fuc**n universe to me. I am trying to sleep after a tiring long day but The feeling of a void in my heart is tremendous. It cant feel my limbs. My body is numb and soul-deprived.
I dont regret the things coz I did this. I asked her to leave though she pleaded to stay.
She cried, I cried too but I didnt let her know.

Feelings overflown.

In the darkness, I found your light.

When all was hopeless,your beauty shown bright there.

When I thought that I could love no more,you touched my heart, to the very core.

You made me smile, when I could only frown.

You picked me up when I was down.

When all was lost you gave me life.

You brought me joy instead of strife.

I think of you everyday and night.

You came into my life and made everything right.

I smile for the times we’ve been together and when we are apart.


Life is what you make it.

Image    ‘Life is what you make it’ by Preeti shenoy.
A very,very short book which I completed in just one or two hours.Told from the point of view of Ankita Sharma,this narrates the life of a typical youngster.

Ankita’s life is filled with hopes and dreams of joining a good MBA college and she is in love with Vaibhav,her former classmate.But soon Abhishek enters her life and soon Ankita finds her life changing.What happens after Abhi proposes her and her emotional turmoil forms the rest of the story.

The thing is,I could connect with Ankita as she is facing the exact same problems that the youth is facing today.I liked the writing style as it was simple and had that drama which kept me going.It was one of those book which you enjoy while reading but then you forget all about it.You don’t cherish it or further think about it.You read it, like it and forget it.

The harsh feeling of impuissance.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.